2. Always Tell the Truth

Do Not Give Long-winded Divorce Explanations That May Only Confuse the Children

by Michael Heath

When parents end their marriage, young children will naturally have questions. Parents should be prepared with answers that are concise and understandable. An effort ought to be made with the other spouse to maintain consistency by coordinating what is being said. It is not the children’s divorce, but it is their family. They do have a right to information and what the future holds.

Tell the Truth

Telling the truth does not mean needing to give all the details. If one parent is leaving for another partner, then say that. The kids will find out anyway. The particulars do not need to be discussed and are unnecessary. If lies are given, the children will only become distrustful when the truth comes out.

Do Not Give Long-winded Explanations

Answers that are multilayered or extensive only confuse children. Responses with more than one explanation show a lack of conviction. What is the real answer?  Mom and Dad should listen to themselves when speaking about the divorce. Is their commentary constructive or just an exercise in venting? Divorce is a very emotional event. A high conflict breakup can cause people to act and speak irrationally. Parents need to manage their anger. It can be too easy to take frustrations out on the kids without realizing it. Children are the innocent victims of the divorce and are suffering, too. They need consideration, honesty, and love. Good parents will provide that no matter what the marital circumstances.