Working Together Separately

Using Videoconferencing for Collaborative Divorce and Mediation

by Michael Heath

Videoconferencing was first introduced by AT&T at the 1968 World’s Fair in New York. That clunky, insanely expensive invention eventually developed into a usable tool that became popular in the 2010s through Zoom, Skype, and many other platforms. When the pandemic hit in 2020, what was considered a convenience quickly became a necessity. Online teaching for schoolchildren and remote working via the internet became the norm. Mediators and collaborative lawyers along with their clients were just as affected. All mediation and collaborative sessions went to the video conferencing model. When the pandemic ended many went back to in-person sessions but not all. Most divorce professionals realize the advantages of videoconferencing, some deciding to use the tool exclusively. Others employ it more than they ever did before. Propelling the use of virtual negotiation sessions has altered the marital breakup landscape.

Advantages of Videoconferencing in Divorce

In a pandemic the obvious benefit of videoconferencing in mediation sessions is social distancing, preventing people from spreading disease. Many additional reasons why professionals and divorcing spouses would choose to work that way include:

• Busy parents can hold sessions without disrupting their children’s schedules
• Spouses who are in a higher conflict divorce may find it easier to negotiate when physically in separate rooms
• People in employment situations that restrict their ability to attend in-person sessions (e.g., deployed military personnel, offshore drilling workers, nurses working graveyard shifts) can show up virtually
• Spouses who live too far from one another to make in-office meetings impractical
• Couples who prefer using a particular out-of-state mediator
• Spouses who require a short session but prefer not to commute to attend a brief meeting

Every marriage is different. Most couples could come up with their own reasons where simply logging into a meeting would have an upside. The flexibility that videoconferencing allows has been revolutionary.

Disadvantages of Virtual Divorce

Like most good things, using videoconferencing for divorce negotiating has its drawbacks. Here are some things to consider:

• Some believe that talking into a screen takes away from the “human” element of the meetings, thus paring down the free flow of discussions
• Technical issues such as weak Wi-Fi can hamper or even delay sessions
• It may be more difficult to establish rapport with a professional who is not in the same room
• It is tougher to read participants’ body language
• Distractions such as ringing phones, doorbells, children, pets, and coworkers can disrupt sessions not held in the controlled confines of a private office
• Some people may be intimidated with the technological aspect of videoconferencing
• People who choose collaborative divorce may prefer having their attorney sitting right next to them

A New Way Forward

Circumstances surrounding the pandemic made videoconferencing a common way to communicate. Using the combined video and audio technology to assist divorcing spouses in negotiating a divorce settlement has proven to be a useful leap forward. Couples can now conduct mediation through videoconferencing, in person, or a combination of both.