7. Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Ex in Front of the Children

It Is Your Divorce, Not Theirs

by Michael Heath

Divorce is a life-changing event that is almost always wrapped in anger. Indeed, spouses may have good grounds for holding hostilities toward their marital partner. Infidelity, years of verbal or physical abuse, or the ever-common irreconcilable differences are among the many reasons people head toward ending a marriage. Built-up animosity may require venting to improve one’s mental health. But there are positive ways and negative ways to reach mental soundness. Speaking badly about the other parent in front of the children has a detrimental effect on their psyches and should be avoided.

Children Are Two Halves of Their Parents

Kids see themselves as equal parts of Mom and Dad. They love both parents and clearly see themselves as a part of both. If one parent insults the other, it is in an affront to the child(ren). They do not like awful things said about either Mom or Dad. When children hear bad things said about the other parent, they feel the sting.

Kids Experience Stress When a Marriage Fails

Divorce alone causes a great deal of uncertainty, guilt, and overall stress in children. Droning on in anger about the other parent only heightens the anxiety children experience. Psychological distress can morph into a low self-image before leading to other problems like poor academic performance and/or substance abuse. It cannot be over emphasized that speaking ill of the other parent either directly or indirectly in front of the child is harmful.

Take Specific Action  

The emotional roller coaster of divorce can easily fog a person’s train of thought. People often act in ways they never did before. With children in proximity, it is too easy to allow them into the crossfire of a marriage that is ending. Both Mom and Dad need to make a commitment to keep the youngsters out of the fighting. This can mean making a pledge to avoid speaking badly about the other parent. The children have the right to love both parents regardless of why the marriage fell apart. Seeking out therapy is a much better way to ease the internal turmoil that a divorce brings.