Do Not Recruit Children to Your Side

Divorcing Parents Must Avoid Wanting Their Kids to Choose Between Mom and Dad

by Michael Heath

Divorce is an emotional event that often causes spouses to act in ways they may not normally act. Anger, betrayal, regret, and guilt can fog one’s decision making. People may take actions with their children without realizing what they are doing.

Choosing is Losing

Children have two parents. They should be allowed to love and enjoy both. Tearing down the bond between a child and a parent is not just selfish, it is outright child abuse. Just as cruel is requiring offspring to “spy” on the other parent. Children are entitled to a normal environment when in the company of the other parent. Instructing a youngster to be “sneaky” is teaching an impressionable young person bad behavior. Teaching such bad behavior can have long-term consequences.

What to Do

Marital breakups are common. Fortunately, children are resilient. That does not mean divorce cannot have devastating effects. Both parents need to be very cognizant of how the breakup is affecting their children while taking steps to lessen any implications. A great place to start is the blog Tips for Divorcing Parents on this website.