Caught in the Act

Extramarital Affairs and the Unfortunate Glee They Bring

by Michael Heath

A man and woman were recently spotted on a Coldplay concert Jumbotron in an affectionate embrace. When both realized they were on camera in full view of the entire stadium, each made a futile attempt to hide themselves. The awkward effort to shield their faces raised sudden speculation, leading band leader Chris Martin to comment that “they are either very shy or having an affair.” The sixteen second clip quickly went viral. The news media went wild after learning that the man is a successful tech company CEO married to someone else, and the woman is also married and heads HR for the same organization.

Malicious Enjoyment

The German term Schadenfreude (meaning to derive enjoyment from other people’s misfortune) applies to this scenario. Such reactions can be rooted in jealousy, social comparison, a sense of superiority, and other factors. News outlets reported that the handsome man seen on screen is a multimillionaire with a successful history in the tech industry while the attractive blonde companion has enjoyed her own career accomplishments. It was also disclosed that three years ago she married into a very wealthy New England family. Both have children. Did their successes, social status, and wealth give rise to increasing interest in the story? They certainly did. Imagine two run-of-the-mill people in the same position. A sudden duck from the camera may have produced chuckles but soon no one would care. The public at large likes taking down those perceived as having a better life. They do not necessarily have to be famous. They can be neighbors, acquaintances, coworkers, relatives, and even close friends.

Piling On

The media coverage of this “news” story has been quite over the top. The NY Post has provided several articles, as have other newspapers. TV news programs and podcasters alike have made sure their audiences were aware of the gory details. TikTok is replete with memes showing people mocking the moment the couple realized they were caught on camera. Even mascots at baseball games mimicked the unfortunate moment in a sordid form of entertainment.

Polite Society

No clear-thinking person condones infidelity. A society that disapproves of such behavior is a good thing as it sets a standard by which people should live. On the other hand, judging is a way of forming an opinion, often without all the facts. One may take exception of another’s actions based on his/her own principles but judging expands one’s view to the point of making them feel haughty and disdainful. These “judges” can then feel entitled to act in odd, retaliatory ways. Taking sides, spreading rumors, making jokes, or—God forbid—creating taunting videos are all very hurtful. The fallout of an exposed extramarital affair does not only affect those in the tryst but the other spouses, children, and extended family. It is easy to imagine the extent of hurt and humiliation the Coldplay concert couple are currently experiencing. The spectacle is causing their families to suffer just as much.

Disapprove But Do Not Judge

Everyone has done things that they regret. Rich or poor, famous or obscure, no one is perfect. That is why the Bible implores us believers to refrain from casting stones while in our glass houses. The response to hearing of a cheating scandal should be one of condemnation and sadness. After that, it is better to leave the situation alone. A way to take the high road is to hold back from being a judge, jury, or even spectator. Society is better off when it simply whistles past the courthouse while looking the other way.